Tag Archives: Dating discrimination
Aside

Mr. Charming… Meet Doug…

4 Aug

So I just got home from my date.  Let me say this… Mr. Charming, was indeed charming.  Super nice guy… smart, funny… we had great conversation.  I think he has the potential of being a great friend…. not sure the ‘chemistry’ was there.    I think we’re just at different stages in our lives… maybe the 9 year difference is just too much for us.  He seemed unsure of himself.  I think I’m looking for a take charge kind of guy.  In any case, we shared a lovely dinner, hugged good bye and said we’d talk again soon.  Honestly, one of my better first dates 🙂 even without the chemistry or kiss goodnight… Does that say anything?  Anyway, I finally figured out who Mr. Charming reminds me of… Doug.  Mind you, this is a high compliment as Doug is one of my all time favorite cartoons.

Maybe it’s time to leave the roller coaster behind for a while?  Take some time to focus on myself.  I’ve been really toying with the  idea of joining a gym.  While I embrace my curves, I’m not sure the male population is quite ready to do the same.  I have found the online dating pool for the plus size 40 something woman is more of… well… a puddle.  Pickings are slim folks!   No matter which way you dice it or slice it… being overweight is a handicap in the dating world, online or otherwise.   There’s a part of me that wants to work towards thiness in hopes of leveling the playing field a bit more, and then there’s that other side.  The other side yearns for  someone that finds beauty in my curves and can see me and love me for who I am… right now.

On a much, much, lighter note, I have noticed a pattern with the men I date.  The last 4 out of 5 gentlemen I’ve gone out with have all driven pick-up trucks.  What’s up with that?   Not that I have anything against pick-up trucks or the men/women that drive them, but it is a weird coincidence, no?   Is there some sort of personality trait that is attracted to a flat bed?

Um… Hello? Really?

28 Jul

So guess who texts this morning… Mr. Maybe.  And no, before you even wonder, I did not contact him.  I got a sarcastic one liner through my Match mail… LOL was he using Match mail again in an attempt to send some sort of message?  Afterall, we have been texting (ad nauseum) and sending emails through regular email for (what seems like) weeks.  I think his goal was to try to make me feel like a jerk because I didn’t tell him to ‘get well soon’.  He says he was in the hospital Thursday night for dehydration… I suppose it was possible and was ready to send an apology when he said that he had hosted a party last night.  LOL… come on… really?  You’re on your death bed one minute and the next you’ve had some sort of divine intervention and are able to host a shindig at your home?

In the end, I did send an email and said that I do hope he’s feeling better.  I also wished him well and said that I wanted more than he could (or rather chose to give me).  I want flowers, phone calls, actual dates and someone that has the balls to make a decision and follow through.  I am not just looking for sex.. dammit.. I want a real, grown-up relationship.  I don’t think I could have been any clearer.

Evidently my email fell on deaf ears because minutes later my phone starts buzzing with his text messages.  When he said ‘Can I disregard your email now?’ I texted back… That would depend on you.  Umm… Hello?  Really?  Sometimes I think men are entirely a different species.

If that wasn’t enough… Mr. Friday Night (from last week) finally responds to my email  saying he’s sorry he didn’t get back to me sooner but he had a busy week (no worries there). He just wanted to say that he really did enjoy our phone conversation last week (okay… good). Umm… Hello? Really?  Do you also remember saying that we would make plans to go out THIS weekend?  No word about calling again or meeting… sighs…I just don’t get it.  Why bother with the email if you have no intention of moving it forward… maybe he’s just being polite?  I don’t know… I’ m beginning to think it’s me.  Is it?

The Double Standard of Double Chins…

27 Jul

So in the aftermath of being virtually stood up, I escaped to my kindle for comfort.  I am in the process of reading ‘Gone Girl’… which I’m really enjoying, but, I was reading another blog where someone mentioned a play called ‘Fat Pig’ by Neil LaBute.  I love a story where the less than perfect heroine (whether it’s extra pounds, an unsightly scar or just less lucky in the looks department, a la Jane Eyre) gets the unattainable man.  So I read reviews about Neil LaBute’s play.. but I guess I didn’t read enough.  I quickly one clicked my purchase on Amazon and began to read.  Let me say play formats are not my most favorite reads, but hey, I’d suffer through just about anything for a happy ending 🙂  Alas… I didn’t quite get my happy ending.

The story is basically about a chance meeting between a successful, handsome business man and a plus sized librarian he meets at lunch one day.  He falls in love… she falls in love… and well… his friends (and ex-girlfriend) don’t fall in love with the fact she’s a full figure lady.  I found myself cringing through a lot of this play… simply because it brought to light the challenges of being a plus size WOMAN in today’s world; and truth be told, the writer’s words hit very close to home.  I won’t spoil the ending, but needless to say, I had a bunch of kleenex clutched in my hand.   I emphasize the plight of the plus size woman, because I really don’t believe men necessarily feel the prick of weight discrimination the way women do.   There’s definitely a double standard in the world of double chins.

Just look at the online dating world.  I can’t tell you how many profiles I come across where the man is robust (think fat) but claim they are ‘average’ or carrying a ‘few extra pounds’. And yet… they are looking for a kind, honest lady who is  ‘slim’ and ‘atheletic and toned’.  Hey, I get that you can’t help what you’re attracted too, but be honest with yourself (and the rest of the world) as to where you lie on the  body fat spectrum.  What do you think?  Is there a double standard when it comes to double chins?

On a brighter note… I finally found a pair of shoes for the wedding I have next week.  I’m really out of practice walking in heels and as I need a wide width, it’s very difficult to find a shoe that doesn’t make me feel like an elephant balancing on stilts 😉  Aside from the fact… after my dress purchase, my budget was extremely tight.  I ended up with a pair of black patent peep toe platform sling backs…for under… get this… $20!  They were deeply discounted at The Avenue and with a coupon and shipping, I got them home for $23!  The dress is by Adrianna Papell and was $188 dollars at Nordstrom.  I scored mine (new with tag) on Ebay for $67 shipped.  I worry since the wedding is a work crowd that the cleavage will be a bit much, but my daughter says no.  I tried on the size 20 in the store which was a little big and the 18 was a little small.  I ended up getting the 18 and with my new eating plan 😉 it fits perfectly everywhere… just a tiny bit snug on the boobs, hence the abundance of cleavage 🙂  What do you think (and geez.. the photo is not of me):