Tag Archives: men

A Week Gone by in a Flash…

20 Aug

So I woke up last Sunday to a lovely email from a gentleman from Match.  I had checked out his profile the night before and was thinking about emailing, but he beat me to it.  I emailed back and that was the start of a whirlwind week.

We spoke on the phone on Sunday afternoon… He seemed like a very nice guy.  We had a great conversation.  He was intelligent, witty, sweet… I learned he had a stable career and was a very involved dad.  He had a lot going for him  We agreed to meet the next evening for dinner.  This was the quickest I have ever moved through ‘the process’.  I guess I’m getting to the point now, that I don’t want to waste hours on emails and phone calls, only to meet and realize there’s no chemistry at all.

Monday comes and we meet at a casual restaurant for dinner.  He is extremely warm in person… a big hug… touches my hand over appetizers… says all the right things.  When we leave the restaurant and decide to go for coffee, he leans in for a kiss.  A very pleasant kiss.  He says he’s been wanting to do that since I walked into the restaurant. Another big hug and we’re off for coffee.  He asks me out on two more dates… Friday and Saturday night.  Okay, I think to myself,  this guy is really interested!  He made me feel… good… attractive, desirable… sexy.  It was ‘almost’ too good to be true.

I wasn’t even home yet when I got his first text… ‘I miss you already’.  Sighs… writing this now, I realize just how ridiculous this all sounds.  I totally ignored the ‘too much, too soon’ warning bells going off in my head.  I always wanted to be ‘swept off my feet’.  I saw the broom coming and leaped right in its path.  The week proceeded at a breakneck speed… more texts, phone calls, and requests for dinner dates.  I had plans most of the week so had to politely decline, but changed my plans on Thursday so I could go out to dinner with Mr. Flash.

Another great date. Mr. Flash was charming, generous and totally attentive.  The chemistry was still there and even kicked up a few notches.  I was really looking forward to the weekend.  Then Friday rolls around… I notice that there’s not as many phone calls or texts.  But hey, I chalk it up to a busy day at work.  We meet and head out to a concert.  It’s at this point I start to sense something is ‘off’.  He seems preoccupied.  He puts the radio on, in what seems like an attempt, to avoid conversation.  There are no compliments tonight.  He’s still a bit touchy feely, but even that seems to be on the decline.  After a kiss goodnight… I get a ‘see you tomorrow’ and Mr. Flash is gone.

The texts are now getting few and far between. No phone calls at all on Saturday.  I wonder if we’re still going out.  I finally text in the afternoon and ask.  I word it in a way to allow him to get out of the date easily.  I was rather surprised that he responded with an ‘of course we’re going out’.  Okay, now I think to myself, I’m misreading him.  I’m being too… too… too something.  I decide to go with an open mind and fully intend to have some fun.

When we meet, there is no hello kiss, no hug.  He barely talks to me… instead opts for talk radio.  Actually, he barely looks at me.  There is very little hand holding.  I try my hardest to keep the conversation going, only to be faced with one word muttered responses.  The game sucks, the conversation sucks… the date… sucks.  I can’t wait to get home.  But I’m starving at this point, so when he suggests we stop for something to eat, I open my mouth and say ‘yes’ before even thinking.  UGH.  Dinner was… painful.  Thankfully we were seated near a bar so I could watch TV, because Mr. Flash spent most of dinner playing with his phone.  Yes… You read that right… playing with his phone over dinner.  By this time, I’m utterly disgusted and want to go home.  At my car, there’s a peck good night and he mumbled something like ‘talk to you tomorrow’.

I cried all the way home.  Not because Mr. Flash turned out to be Mr. Flop, but because of my own stupidity.  I’m still wondering how someone can go from 0 to 90, back to 0 in under a week.  Here’s the texts I got today:

Him:  🙂

Me: No response

Him: Hey

Me: 🙂

Him: What are you doing?

Me: Laundry

Him: Awwww

That’s it folks.  That’s all she wrote.  Mr. Flash has now officially become… Mr. Flash in the Pan.  And me?  On one hand, I’m feeling pretty embarrassed, confused and stupid.  On the other hand, I’m proud of myself.  I put myself out there… I allowed myself to be vulnerable… I’m not sure if I was taken advantage of, or, just met someone that doesn’t really know what he wants.   In any case, I’m going to pick myself up, dust myself off and hope that the next broom that comes by is being pushed by someone with a bit more integrity.

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And Then There Was One…

10 Aug

You might want to read Spread The Net… Far and Wide before delving into my next dating drama… So I had a great conversation with B1 (Bachelor 1) last night on the phone.  We talked about everything from politics to favorite movies… shared a ton of laughs… By the end of the call, I was really looking forward to our date on Sunday.  It was at the end of the call where things started to go really wrong.  I was saying good night and he said, ‘Hey, let’s talk about plans for the weekend’.  Okay, I’m thinking to myself, he must’ve enjoyed our conversation and wanted to firm up plans for Sunday.

Let me say, before I go forward, that I turned down a date with B2 for Sunday since I thought B1 and I had plans.  Perhaps this is karma coming back to bite me in the ass.  Anyway, he says that he wants to make ‘tentative’ plans (good Lord… is this an epidemic?  See Tune into Your Intuition…) for Sunday because his friend might want to do something with him on Sunday too.  Huh?  Do I have another Mr. Maybe on my hands here?  I’m not going to lie… this did not sit right with me and the following conversation ensued:

Me:  “I’m sorry… I don’t work that way.”

B1:  “What?  What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, I thought we had plans for Sunday.  Now you want to make tentative plans?  So I’m what?  Your back-up plan for Sunday if plans with your friend don’t work out?  Hmm… No… I don’t think so.”

B1 (totally annoyed): “I should’ve not said anything!”

Me (thinking to myself): So it’s better to make plans and then cancel on Sunday? (evidently he was channeling Mr. Maybe)

Me: “Look, I’d like to go out with you… When you have the time and want to make concrete plans to go out, give me a call.”

B1:  “What? What did I do?”

Me: “Talk to some of the ladies you work with; tell them what you did/said, and I have a feeling they’re going to tell you you’re an asshole.” (Okay… I admit… that comment was totally unnecessary and completely out of character for me. But dammit, I’m sick of this crap).

B1: Silence

Me: Okay, well… Have a good night, I’ll talk to you soon.

I think that’s the last I’ll hear from B1.  I truly believe he sees nothing wrong with what he did and probably thinks I’m some sort of wacko, and maybe he’s right.  But the bottom line?  I’m not settling for anything less than what I deserve, and I think I deserve more than being a ‘tentative’ anything.

Um… Hello? Really?

28 Jul

So guess who texts this morning… Mr. Maybe.  And no, before you even wonder, I did not contact him.  I got a sarcastic one liner through my Match mail… LOL was he using Match mail again in an attempt to send some sort of message?  Afterall, we have been texting (ad nauseum) and sending emails through regular email for (what seems like) weeks.  I think his goal was to try to make me feel like a jerk because I didn’t tell him to ‘get well soon’.  He says he was in the hospital Thursday night for dehydration… I suppose it was possible and was ready to send an apology when he said that he had hosted a party last night.  LOL… come on… really?  You’re on your death bed one minute and the next you’ve had some sort of divine intervention and are able to host a shindig at your home?

In the end, I did send an email and said that I do hope he’s feeling better.  I also wished him well and said that I wanted more than he could (or rather chose to give me).  I want flowers, phone calls, actual dates and someone that has the balls to make a decision and follow through.  I am not just looking for sex.. dammit.. I want a real, grown-up relationship.  I don’t think I could have been any clearer.

Evidently my email fell on deaf ears because minutes later my phone starts buzzing with his text messages.  When he said ‘Can I disregard your email now?’ I texted back… That would depend on you.  Umm… Hello?  Really?  Sometimes I think men are entirely a different species.

If that wasn’t enough… Mr. Friday Night (from last week) finally responds to my email  saying he’s sorry he didn’t get back to me sooner but he had a busy week (no worries there). He just wanted to say that he really did enjoy our phone conversation last week (okay… good). Umm… Hello? Really?  Do you also remember saying that we would make plans to go out THIS weekend?  No word about calling again or meeting… sighs…I just don’t get it.  Why bother with the email if you have no intention of moving it forward… maybe he’s just being polite?  I don’t know… I’ m beginning to think it’s me.  Is it?