Tag Archives: Shoes

Just When I Thought…

11 Aug

I had successfully dealt with my real life baggage… there’s a new strain of baggage in town… virtual baggage.  Virtual baggage is a by-product of the online dating world.  It’s the issues one develops at the hands of less than savory online daters.  You need really thick skin (think armor) and a strong constitution to deal with the rejection, rudeness and emotional manipulation that online ‘gentleman’ dish out daily.  Of course, I’d be the first to tell you that online dating should be ‘fun’… look at it as an adventure… these men can’t hurt you because they really don’t know you… blah blah blah.  The truth is, the rational side of me knows all that, but the less than rational side falls victim to ‘it’ every time.

I think I’ve fallen victim to virtual baggage. Lately,  I find myself expecting the worst out of the gentleman I communicate with.  The new guys are paying the price for the bad behaviored counterparts that came before them.  Totally unfair… totally out of character for me.  I am usually the one that can find a silver lining in any dark cloud.  I always think the best of everyone… even when they fail misearably, I try to understand the ‘why?’.  Not so much anymore… at least where online dating is concerned.  I’m becoming… gasp… jaded, and I don’t like it… at all.

I have come to equate online dating with buying a new pair of shoes.  You’re attracted to the sexiness of the shoe.  You ask the sales associate for your size and bite your lip and pace around the store hoping that there is a pair available in your size.  When you see the box in his hand, you can’t help but break out into a smile.  You’ve made it successfully to the next step.

Your fingers almost shake as you peel back the top of the box.  You’re breathless as you peek at your beloved shoes through the tissue paper.  You slide them on your feet… oh the bliss… they look fabulous!  Your feet look two sizes smaller and the heel height makes you stand straighter… your boobs bigger and your ass… perfection.  You decide the shoes are magical and will change your life.  So you stand up… You’re confident.  No way in hell your magical shoes will let you down.  You take those first tentative steps, wobble a little and then you’re suddenly striding across the floor.  It’s too good to be true!  You quickly take them off and pack them in their tissue paper home and march up to the cashier and state boldly, “I’ll take these”.

You bring your magic shoes home and give them prime real estate in your closet.  You can’t wait to have the opportunity to wear them.  In fact, you create an opportunity to wear them.  You get all dolled up, nervous for your first date with your magical shoes.  You’re convinced you’ve found your sole mate 😉 and this is true love.  And then… reality sets in… Your toes start feeling a little cramped.  Your calf muscles start protesting.  The burning starts and you’re starting to think these shoes aren’t quite as magical as you first thought.  By the time you get home, your feet are on fire and you can’t wait to pull the damn things off.  You literally throw them back in their box and toss them on a shelf that you’ll never reach without a step ladder.  Every time you enter your closet, you’ll feel the sting of embarrassment as you remember how you overpaid, fell in love a little too quickly and walked far too long in pain… all this for the opportunity to be burned.  Yep… online dating is a lot like the search for the perfect shoes.

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The Double Standard of Double Chins…

27 Jul

So in the aftermath of being virtually stood up, I escaped to my kindle for comfort.  I am in the process of reading ‘Gone Girl’… which I’m really enjoying, but, I was reading another blog where someone mentioned a play called ‘Fat Pig’ by Neil LaBute.  I love a story where the less than perfect heroine (whether it’s extra pounds, an unsightly scar or just less lucky in the looks department, a la Jane Eyre) gets the unattainable man.  So I read reviews about Neil LaBute’s play.. but I guess I didn’t read enough.  I quickly one clicked my purchase on Amazon and began to read.  Let me say play formats are not my most favorite reads, but hey, I’d suffer through just about anything for a happy ending 🙂  Alas… I didn’t quite get my happy ending.

The story is basically about a chance meeting between a successful, handsome business man and a plus sized librarian he meets at lunch one day.  He falls in love… she falls in love… and well… his friends (and ex-girlfriend) don’t fall in love with the fact she’s a full figure lady.  I found myself cringing through a lot of this play… simply because it brought to light the challenges of being a plus size WOMAN in today’s world; and truth be told, the writer’s words hit very close to home.  I won’t spoil the ending, but needless to say, I had a bunch of kleenex clutched in my hand.   I emphasize the plight of the plus size woman, because I really don’t believe men necessarily feel the prick of weight discrimination the way women do.   There’s definitely a double standard in the world of double chins.

Just look at the online dating world.  I can’t tell you how many profiles I come across where the man is robust (think fat) but claim they are ‘average’ or carrying a ‘few extra pounds’. And yet… they are looking for a kind, honest lady who is  ‘slim’ and ‘atheletic and toned’.  Hey, I get that you can’t help what you’re attracted too, but be honest with yourself (and the rest of the world) as to where you lie on the  body fat spectrum.  What do you think?  Is there a double standard when it comes to double chins?

On a brighter note… I finally found a pair of shoes for the wedding I have next week.  I’m really out of practice walking in heels and as I need a wide width, it’s very difficult to find a shoe that doesn’t make me feel like an elephant balancing on stilts 😉  Aside from the fact… after my dress purchase, my budget was extremely tight.  I ended up with a pair of black patent peep toe platform sling backs…for under… get this… $20!  They were deeply discounted at The Avenue and with a coupon and shipping, I got them home for $23!  The dress is by Adrianna Papell and was $188 dollars at Nordstrom.  I scored mine (new with tag) on Ebay for $67 shipped.  I worry since the wedding is a work crowd that the cleavage will be a bit much, but my daughter says no.  I tried on the size 20 in the store which was a little big and the 18 was a little small.  I ended up getting the 18 and with my new eating plan 😉 it fits perfectly everywhere… just a tiny bit snug on the boobs, hence the abundance of cleavage 🙂  What do you think (and geez.. the photo is not of me):