A few years ago, I went to Great Adventure with my daughter, and my boyfriend at the time. We stood for a half hour to go on El Toro… a wickedly scary wooden roller coaster. I remember my heart was pounding and my palms were sweaty… the adrenaline rush as the attendant locked me in (good lord… it was a tight fit for a full figured gal). As the roller coaster car made it’s climb up… up… up… my stomach began to knot and I wanted to jump off, as if that was better than swooping down the hill. As we crested the top… my breath caught… life seemed to be suspended for just a moment… no sound… and then… the screaming started. Eyes closed, clutching my daughter’s arm and screaming, “Never again! Never again!”. I was off balance when I got off that ride… and not sure I would ever get back on. My dating life pretty much runs the same way… ups and downs… spinning in circles only to end up exactly where I started.
Case in point–Mr. Maybe… we’ve been going in circles for weeks now and yet have not made it out on a second date. That book/movie keeps coming to mind… ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’… let’s face it, if he really was into me, I’d be getting more than texts with empty promises of ‘let’s go out’. I’m done with this roller coaster. So, since we don’t talk on the phone, tonight I texted my good wishes and good bye. I feel a little disappointed, but I know it wasn’t going to go anywhere. So goodbye Mr. Maybe… I wish you all the best in your quest for ‘love’.
Enter Mr.Charming. Let me just say it. I like Mr. Charming. Mr. Charming writes beautiful emails, texts and calls me on the phone. While I’m not a big phone person myself, I really look forward to him calling. We have plans to go out tomorrow night. While I’m excited about meeting him in person, I am also scared. I’d hate to lose the friendship we’ve only just begun. It’s really not often that you find someone that has the same interests, same taste in music, same values, makes you laugh… makes you think… and makes you blush. What if the ‘magic’ just isn’t there in person? Arggg… I feel like I’m waiting in line for another roller coaster ride. Tomorrow I’ll be slowly climbing the mountain and at 7pm tomorrow evening… I’ll be roaring down the hill into the unknown…
So guess who texts this morning… Mr. Maybe. And no, before you even wonder, I did not contact him. I got a sarcastic one liner through my Match mail… LOL was he using Match mail again in an attempt to send some sort of message? Afterall, we have been texting (ad nauseum) and sending emails through regular email for (what seems like) weeks. I think his goal was to try to make me feel like a jerk because I didn’t tell him to ‘get well soon’. He says he was in the hospital Thursday night for dehydration… I suppose it was possible and was ready to send an apology when he said that he had hosted a party last night. LOL… come on… really? You’re on your death bed one minute and the next you’ve had some sort of divine intervention and are able to host a shindig at your home?
In the end, I did send an email and said that I do hope he’s feeling better. I also wished him well and said that I wanted more than he could (or rather chose to give me). I want flowers, phone calls, actual dates and someone that has the balls to make a decision and follow through. I am not just looking for sex.. dammit.. I want a real, grown-up relationship. I don’t think I could have been any clearer.
Evidently my email fell on deaf ears because minutes later my phone starts buzzing with his text messages. When he said ‘Can I disregard your email now?’ I texted back… That would depend on you. Umm… Hello? Really? Sometimes I think men are entirely a different species.
If that wasn’t enough… Mr. Friday Night (from last week) finally responds to my email saying he’s sorry he didn’t get back to me sooner but he had a busy week (no worries there). He just wanted to say that he really did enjoy our phone conversation last week (okay… good). Umm… Hello? Really? Do you also remember saying that we would make plans to go out THIS weekend? No word about calling again or meeting… sighs…I just don’t get it. Why bother with the email if you have no intention of moving it forward… maybe he’s just being polite? I don’t know… I’ m beginning to think it’s me. Is it?
Okay if you’re expecting to hear about a wild night out with the girls… think again 🙂 I did get together with the girls from work, but it was for the first installment of our monthly book club. Our first book was “The Great Gatsby”. I have to be honest… I didn’t like it when I first read it… YIKES… 30 years ago and really didn’t like it much more now. I just couldn’t connect with any of the characters. We did discuss the book (a little) then indulged in a pitcher of sangria and some good Italian food… Yum! Mind you the age range of our group was 24-64… many laughs were shared (all my friends are married or in serious relationships so they love hearing stories about my dating escapades). Our next book is called Gone Girl… I just downloaded it to my Kindle and can’t wait to get started. I’ve heard (and read) some excellent reviews.
Books aside, it felt good to be with a group of ladies that support and love each other. They remind me I’m not alone out there. Yes.. after this week’s dating frustrations (no call from Mr. Friday night)… cancelled date by Mr. Maybe… It was good to leave it all behind and just go have fun! It was fun to dress up too! My new dress from Old Navy ($20 with a coupon!) arrived on the doorstep this afternoon so I opted to wear it. Yowsa on the cleavage… but it was very flattering. LOL I had at least 3 people tell me I lost ‘tons of weight’… I have lost a bit (just don’t feel like eating in the summer) but no where near ‘tons’. It’s definitely the flattering cut of the dress… Hooray for optical illusions 😉 Sorry, but the mannequin does not do this dress justice. Insert my DDD girls and we’re talking… VaVaVoom! 😉 I wore the dress with my black wedge sandals and large silver hoops. I did toss on a black shrug as the restaurant was chilly and I don’t like my chubby arms exposed 🙂 Cute outfit! One of these days I’ll get ambitious and post pictures of me actually in my outfits.
So an update about Mr. Maybe. I get a text bright and early this morning…(in the summer…10am seems ridiculously early to me :)):
Mr. Maybe: What are you doing?
Mr. Maybe: I had a dream about you last night. It was so vivid, I’ve never had a dream like that before.
Me: (rolls eyes) I guess you can’t get me out of your mind, eh?
Mr. Maybe: No I can’t. We need to go out again, tomorrow maybe?
Me: (Laughing to myself… Really? Maybe? Now I just want to pursue this for the entertainment value… and maybe more kisses… damn, I hate to admit this, he’s one of the better kissers I ever did kiss 🙂 So my final text was: Make it happen.
Let’s see what tomorrow brings… I can hardly wait.
So Saturday night’s date did contact me last night… by text (ugh… what’s wrong with talking on the phone these days??). I mentioned I was watching Jerry Maguire and we spent a half hour texting quotes from the movie… LOL… Yes, we are 40 somethings… I swear. In any case, he has to work late tonight and asked if I was free Wednesday night instead. No can do; I have plans with the girls. He asked if I’d be up for meeting for drinks after work… since I’m on vacation, that doesn’t pose a problem. He’s supposed to contact me today to discuss details… I’m guessing more texts… sighs.
On Friday night, I also got a call from another Match. We had, what I thought, was a nice conversation for over an hour. He said maybe we could do something next weekend. What’s all this ‘maybe’ crap? Is it because they’re waiting on other replies, being polite, what????? I said sure, I’d look forward to that. He was headed out to a business trip early in the week, but in the past, has stayed in contact via email when traveling. I haven’t heard a word from him since Friday. I did send ONE email… short and sweet… to have a safe flight. Nothing. While I guess there’s a chance he still might contact me, it did get me to thinking…
Is it better to be rejected before meeting or after… Honestly, I thought for me it would be after. As a full figured lady it’s so easy to blame rejection on my weight. However, when the rejection happens before the first meeting, then my personality comes into question. Was it something I said? What exactly did I say (or didn’t say) that turned the guy off? Let’s face it… a first phone call is a fishing expedition of sorts… both parties are fishing for information that will help them calculate first date risk. This is going to sound so incredibly shallow, but I have crossed gentleman off my list simply because I found their voice/speech patterns unappealing. Ridiculous? Maybe… but think about it in terms of a life partner. Could you feel romantic about a man, for a lifetime, whose voice made you cringe? LOL maybe… just maybe… my voice made Mr. MIA cringe… short of seeking the aid of a speech pathologist… I guess I’ll just have to wonder for all of eternity 🙂
So what do you think… Is rejection ‘easier’ before or after the first date?